Supportive Spouse
“He lets me work”
“My in-laws give me the freedom to socialise”
These are utterances picked up from random conversations amongst women. Conventionally oppressed and conditioned over thousands of years, living in a patriarchal society, a woman finds herself privileged enough to be ‘given’ the freedom to do what she wants to do. It is perceived as a favour granted to her. Expecting more than this, supposed act of benevolence, is sadly considered being unreasonable.
Many progressive men these days are supportive and encouraging towards their wives, enabling them with their career choices. They bear pride in their wives doing well professionally. And, honestly, who minds an additional fat paycheque! But does this support and encouragement relieve a career woman of her family commitments and responsibilities? Nope! She is still expected to prioritize home management, familial responsibilities and rearing of children in her hectic work schedule. While the man can get his work-related stress back home, the woman is expected to switch roles instantly and be that understanding wife, doting mother or a caring daughter-in-law. Sadly, there is a deep seated stereotype in her own mind too that leaves her feeling guilty each time things go awry. “If my child feels sick too often or his grades are falling, I blame myself for it”, says Nupur, a career woman working with a big corporate house.
At most a professionally ambitious woman anticipates her extremely supportive husband to share equal responsibilities back home. Anything more than this, like expecting him to give her career a preference over his own is definitely unthinkable. “ I support her career but I can’t move cities to accommodate her promotion”, says Saurav, a supportive husband working at a senior position in a multinational. The concept of taking a step back in order to let his wife outshine still belongs to utopia.
Bringing about this kind of a seismic change is an uphill journey. It shall begin with a strong conviction within women that they deserve being treated equally at work as well as at home. Sharing your thoughts and synchronizing your expectations before committing to a relationship may be helpful. Getting over every bit of guilt, setting up your own priorities and firmly standing up for them is the path forward for strong career minded women. Easier said than done but there is hope!
Written by Chitra Goyal, Editorial team
